Let me tell you something nobody says about starting a business: you’re probably wrong about what your customers want. I don’t mean that to sound harsh. It’s just that most of us fall in love with our own ideas, and that love makes us blind.
I learned this the hard way. Maybe you have too. Or maybe you’re about to.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me years ago about understanding your market. Not the textbook version. The real one.
Start With What You Don’t Know
Before you do anything else, sit down with a notebook and answer one question: What do I actually need to figure out?
This sounds obvious, but most people skip it. They start sending out surveys or reading industry reports because it feels like doing something. But research without direction just gives you noise.
Maybe you need to know whether people will pay forty dollars for your candle when they can get one at Target for twelve. Maybe you’re trying to figure out if busy parents actually care about organic baby food or if that’s just something they say in focus groups.
Whatever it is, name it. Write it down. This is your compass.
Who Are You Even Talking To?
Your customer is not “everyone.” I know you want it to be everyone. Every founder does. It feels limiting to narrow your audience, like you’re turning away money.
But trying to sell to everyone means you’re speaking a language that resonates with no one.
So get specific. Not “millennials” – that’s not a person. That’s a generation. Who, exactly, are you picturing? A thirty-two-year-old teacher who meal-preps on Sundays and feels guilty about her Amazon habit? A fifty-year-old empty nester who finally has time to garden?
Give this person a name, a job, a Sunday routine. The more specific you get, the better your chances of actually reaching them.
The Messy Work of Talking to Humans
Now comes the part most people dread: actually talking to potential customers.
I know. It’s awkward. You’re not sure what to ask. You’re afraid they’ll say no, or worse, that they’ll say yes and then never actually buy anything.
Start with simple conversations. Not formal interviews where you’re reading from a script – real conversations where you’re trying to understand someone. What frustrates them about their current options? What would they change if they could wave a magic wand? What have they already tried that didn’t work?
And here’s the secret: don’t just listen to what they say. Watch what they do. People are generous with polite lies in surveys and interviews. “Yes, I’d definitely buy that” is easy to say when there’s no wallet involved. Behavior tells the real story.
What You Can Learn Without Asking Anyone
While you’re having these conversations, also look at what’s already out there. Not to copy it, but to understand it.
Who else is serving your potential customers? What are people saying about them in reviews? What complaints keep coming up? What praise feels genuine?
Read forums. Read Amazon reviews for products similar to yours. Read the comments sections of industry blogs (yes, even the angry ones). People are remarkably honest about what they want when they think no one important is listening.
This isn’t about spying on competitors. It’s about learning from everyone who came before you.
The Part Everyone Wants to Skip
Here’s where the work actually happens. You’ve had conversations. You’ve read reviews. You’ve collected data. Now you have to make sense of it.
This is the hardest part because there are no formulas. You’re looking for patterns, contradictions, moments that made you lean forward in your chair. Did three different people describe the same frustration using almost identical words? Did someone say something that quietly dismantled an assumption you’d been holding?
Write down what surprised you. Those surprises are where the real insights live.
Let It Change Your Plan
Here’s the test of whether you actually did this right: are you changing anything?
If you finish your research and your business plan looks exactly the same as when you started, you weren’t really researching. You were collecting confirmation for decisions you’d already made.
Maybe you realize your product is too expensive. Maybe your messaging is addressing a problem nobody actually has. Maybe your perfect customer isn’t who you thought at all.
That hurts. But finding out now, when you can pivot, is infinitely better than finding out six months and forty thousand dollars later.
Keep the Conversation Going
The best businesses don’t do research once at the beginning and then move on. They stay in conversation with their customers. They notice when needs shift, when new frustrations emerge, when the solution that worked six months ago has started to feel clunky.
That doesn’t mean you need quarterly focus groups or expensive ongoing studies. It just means you keep listening. You read your customer service emails not as problems to resolve but as information to absorb. You notice what people are saying about you on social media. You occasionally call a customer and ask how things are going.
What This Actually Buys You
All of this – the awkward conversations, the uncomfortable pivots, the humility of admitting you were wrong – it isn’t just about avoiding mistakes. It’s about something better.
When you truly understand the people you’re trying to serve, you stop guessing. You stop throwing ideas at the wall. You stop waking up at three in the morning wondering if any of this is actually what anyone wants.
You know. Not because you’re a genius, but because you asked. And more importantly, you listened.
That’s the whole thing, really. Not methodology or frameworks or statistically significant sample sizes. Just the willingness to be wrong and the patience to keep learning.
Your customers will tell you everything you need to know. You just have to be quiet enough to hear them.
